You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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