Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
