I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
