You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i already hear my dad disowning me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
