do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
