"it" just moved
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
