The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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