i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
