Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
