hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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