i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
