Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
