Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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