And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
