he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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