I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize