Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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