Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
