Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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