You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
