I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
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at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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