I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
