This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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