ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
