I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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