Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
