why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
