The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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