I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize