sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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