so explain again why im purple
no
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
