That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
