Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This house was built for laser tag.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Boobs are out for the taking
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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