Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
