he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
