i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's blow job season.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
