I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
