you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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