I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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