If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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