I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
