Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We are two peas in an std pod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize