I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
