Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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