i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this just has baby written all over it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
