Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize