I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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