No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
