We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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