Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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