Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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