Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
