She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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