The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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