its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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