good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
