so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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